Hey Bhagwan Mujko Tu Zindagi Doobara de

An Unfaithful Desire

The morning hue,

the drop of the dew..

The shining smile,

in the meanwhile..

A little nap,

and the sound from the tap..

The known ring,

my support sling..

The song of togetherness,

overlooking the restlessness..

Snubbing my fire.

an unfaithful desire…

The lines which had…

instances which made me glad,

The husky voice,

amidst the noise..

Describing the past,

in the contrast..

The care, which we share,

Is not spare..

Snubbing my fire.

an unfaithful desire…

I made a way,

for you to stay,

Which would take us away..

But you chose a different path

along with the destiny’s wrath

Nothing is in our hands,

neither the clouds, nor the lands..

But I wish,

If life could serve something good in the dish…

Snubbing my fire.

an unfaithful desire…

For my selfish need,

I won’t let you bleed..

You deserve,

…A revival which lacked the verve

I won’t chase you,

won’t even lace you..

in my unknown dreams,

which have unlimited beams…

Snubbing my fire.

an unfaithful desire…

It's Gonna Be Love

It's gonna be me, baby
It's gonna be you, baby

Time I've been patient for so long...
How can I pretend to be so strong?
Looking at you, baby
Feeling it too, baby
If I'm asking you to hold me tight
Then it's gonna be all night

It's gonna be love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me, baby
It's gonna be you, baby
It's gonna be...
It's gonna be love

Time am I restless or a fool?
How can you pretend to be so cruel?
Maybe it's me, baby
Maybe it's true, baby
Maybe it's everything we're dreaming of
We've waited long enough

It's gonna be love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be all I want to do
It's gonna be me, baby (me, baby)
It's gonna be you, baby

The sooner you let two hearts beat together
The sooner you'll know this love is forever
(It's gonna be love)
Love needs time now or never
(It's gonna be love)
It's gonna be strong enough

It's gonna be love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be all I want to do
It's gonna be hard
It's gonna be tough
It's gonna be more than just enough
It's gonna be love
Oh, it's gonna be love

It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me, baby (me, baby)

It's gonna be you, baby
It's gonna be me, baby (me, baby)
It's gonna be you
It's gonna be....(yeah)
It's gonna be love 

Bucket full of emptiness

It was always like this, you chasing me… I’m running. Then you running…I’m chasing.

Always it was you, who initiated the fights.

You from the start wanted everything your way, but hey hang on! Why me every time who had to face the wrath. We equally shared the arguments.

It was just normal cat fights, but you turned it on to hard core cat-dog fight. I never thought this would turn so ugly that we’ll have to settle up having thrashing from daddy!

I under no circumstances realized where we were heading. Never thought we shared so much emptiness that in the loud conversations the important element would go unheard.

We shared almost the same friends, same school, same school bus and guess what sometimes same clothes (:p) .

I always was on the other side waiting to help you. You never attempted to look around, rather you by your activities made me learn many things.

The cycle chase from dogs in the streets to playing cricket in the fields. From eating sambar rice to eating burnt potatoes in the park. From making sand castles now to building walls of emptiness. We have travelled far…

You always asked which road to choose? The road less travelled or the roads which lead to the woods. I always wondered what a silly question it is!

Your psychology, your theory, I was never able to solve…

I still miss the days when we came down running from the school and fought over who came first. And how when I won medals in school, you swanked as if it was you who got them!

Things haven’t changed yet, you chase I run! I chase you hide now!

The loud conversations and fights have narrowed down to long SMS chats where again competing who has better vocab.

Either you take sanyas, or study upanayas…

Its just you who needs to come out from the shell of choices!

Try to sing the song of symphony than to a cacophony!

My life as it happens when it happens!

When the right time draws closer then only the right things turn out. It was planned last year only (2007) when I was in 1^st year but with some strange reasons it got canceled and I thought the college trip won’t happen again. But as it happens when it happens and it happened. The auspicious day was decided just the last day of 1^st internals. The trips excitement was more than the fear of exams. But the happiness, delight, excitement was incomparable against getting flunked in exams.

My luggage for the trip was packed way back but the preparation for exams was still pending. It was not only me who was so excited, all my batch mates including boys were preparing for the TRIP. 11:29 am, it was just 1 minute left for the last exam to end and I was more thrilled for the trip rather than giving the answer sheet a finishing touch.

We were supposed to go by train and it was a night journey. I went to my friends place and we boarded the train together it was too an exciting part. We all were seated an hour ago. All were running here and there to find place and especially with their dear ones.

I too got the seat with my friends. Click, click and click all were just clicking pictures and posing for the lens... We were served with food but we had our own share of provisions. We already had planned that we won’t sleep the whole night. But life happens, when it happens and it happened. At midnight a general traveler came up to us shouting, “If you all don’t shut in a minute I’ll complain.” Unwillingly we had to shut our mouth and lights.

8:30 am, we reached Pathankot station were from we had to start our 5 day trip. All students along with faculty boarded the buses lined outside the station and we set out for Dalhousie which was our 1^st destination. 10 am we reached hotel Kingston were we had our breakfast and the hungry and starving students fell in love with the food so much which afterwards in the bus forced them to puke of which I too was the part.

Up, straight, up the bus was climbing without any halt. We were stressed up when we saw a stream near by. The bus stopped and all students got down unwinding and relaxing. It was like a scoop of chilled ice cream in the hot summer. And I found a small cliff where I could sit and get all shit out which I ate.

We boarded the bus again and we headed straight to our hotel in Dalhousie. We arrived at 2 in the afternoon. We were allotted rooms and asked to freshen up and join for lunch.

Our days plan was just to visit the near by mall road because we didn’t had enough time. We all headed together for the mall road. We ate, shopped, and clicked pictures which were the part of rituals. 8 pm we all reached the hotel and dined around 9pm. The day went out in full of travelling and settling up in new weather.

Khajjiar was the next place to visit where we reached the next day. It was a big ground covered with full of green grass and surrounded with big, tall trees. Not just the scenic beauty attracted me but the sources of entertainment too pulled my attention off. There was horse riding, Para gliding and a strange huge ball which offered a roller coaster ride. There this dressing and clicking concept too was there, where the man gave the Kashmir and Himachal traditional dresses and few seconds to get clicked ourselves for which he charged 20 Rs.

The same day another place named Ajit Singh Samarak was planned. It was mere a structure for which we walked down 5-6kms. A small water fall beyond it too engrossed many. Many couples were found doing stuff which they shouldn’t have attempted in the presence of students who were like reporters of ‘Breaking News’ types. But the returning part in night was fun. Then a small jam session was awaited for all in the hotel. It was the most interesting part. We all danced crazily on the note of ending one day more. On a sad note we had some indiscipline which was checked in next to no time: P.

7; 30 am we left for Mcleodganj and it was a heck of travelling in the bus and it was for almost 5-6hrs. At last we reached our hotels and to our utmost sad notice we came to know that the rooms were allotted but this time all were estranged.

Second year united and urged the faculty to reunite all students of the same year. We were at last shifted to same hotel with a haunted street in front of our rooms. It was almost evening when we reached there. So there was no scope of going far off places. We headed the near by Tibetan market which was surprisingly the most excellent part. And it was the occasion to celebrate our two batch mate’s birthdays. We had arrangement for bonfire too. But only students took part in it no faculty was found around.

Next morning that is the 4^th day we begin for visiting a temple and a waterfall and a small market for which we took time. 10:30 am the chilling water opened all the ways. Bhagsunath waterfall, it was so hard to believe a water fall from such a height and we all standing beneath it. All stress, strain, pain of travelling was washed away with the flowing water. We spent 3-4 hours there only, because it was so pleasant that no one wanted to leave. All were showing their real TALENT and their real nature which fun to watch and experience. But we had less time and many places to visit and we decided to shop rather visit the temple.

12; 45 pm we headed for the market and we had to depart at 2pm. although we had to shop too. We chased the time and went shopping and ate there because the 2^nd hotels food were we were staying was really bad.

2: 30 pm we boarded our buses huffing with our luggage and set out for the station. Gloomy, distressing was the environment because it was the end of the trip but we were glad, pleased that we spent 5-6 days together. 7:30 pm we reached the same hotel for dinner were we had breakfast in the beginning. A nice background was set for us with the right music and the right food.

9 pm we set out for the station were in middle we were stopped at the check post.

We had to catch the train at 10:30 pm and we were still far away from station. Somehow we reached 10 minutes before and with lots of hustle and bustle we boarded the train. Again we set out hunting for the seats and gained a nice compartment. We didn’t do anything that night because all were tired and we had to wake up early.

Finally Delhi came and we gladly reached at the station and set to our respective places. The 5-6 days journey was incredibly tiring but phenomenal. And the little happenings and dishappenings made it a superb journey.

Worst word attachment

Worst word attachment

Attachment is one word which in itself is opposing. All the things which we think we are attached to are always alienated from us.

When I was born I was removed from my mother’s womb. I grew up lost my hair, because they were to be sacrificed to the god. The next thing which I was most attached to was my home, I was sent to the playing school, where I missed my home for more than 2:30 hrs.

Then there in school, kids held the toys from me, which I loved playing the most.

Phew! But somehow I started realizing that everything which we dream off, or which we love the most is always de-attached from us.

But I was wrong; from my childhood I was very eager for eyeglasses and guess what I wear them 24hrs now.

Sometimes I sleep with them, to dream clearly.

With spectacles I started seeing the world in and around. And saw a totally different world. Now I didn’t have to peep from my partner’s notebook. I wrote down myself from the black board.

Huh, how can I forget? The worst word attachment whose antonym always prevail me.

One day I broke my spectacles, bad day it was. I was feeling as if I am half blind. Somehow my intelligent dad had a spare one, but those some hours I was handicapped.

In class 6^th, again after a long time I faced my own dis-attachment from studies. I flunked in 3 main subjects (Math’s, Social Studies and Science) and scored consecutively 26, 27 and 28 (out of 100) can say a hat rick.

Bowled out, my dad thrashed me like a used plastic bottle. Somehow I conquered that night mare and reached class 11^th. Again a SPIN-BALL and I was chucked out of Math’s class. So, now I was like a boat without a row.

Somehow gave 12^th boards and secured fair marks and was dis-attached from school which I loved the most.

I still miss those days, the bunking, the scolding, the cheating, the crushes, the canteen, the burger, the studies to which I didn’t pay attention, the last benches, the cries, the friendship and the list is endless. All I got was dis-attachment from my adored reminiscences of the schoolL.

But everyday isn’t the same day and I was served with a great treat from my destiny. And I entered into my college the great MBICEM.

Here too, I got attached to many which alas! Were secluded from me. The list is long but to sum up I lost my friends, teachers, trust, group any many more things.

Now, sitting back and writing this is so amazing. I feel attached (close) to all the things I thought I was separated. And it feels good and a nice way to kill boredom.

My Associate Sponsors of my Life

‘Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise’

I read it somewhere but didn’t consider it much. As I turned older, I came across many things, one amongst those were the above quote and the real meaning of FRIENDS.

My associates whoever they are always played a major role in my life. And I love telling them that they are an important part of my life. From Play School to Main School…from 1^st year of College to 3^rd year, and now my friends from IGNOU, Why not include my friends from my other part of life? I made tons of friends.

People ranging from 30º to 360º, some hot some cold…some weird some weary. I with every year and every type of friend saw tremendous change in me. Change in way of talking...Walking…joking…laughing and even bitching.

From being strangers to classmates, from being classmates to friends and then some best friends I covered so many phases. Each phase taught me so much that I still wonder what friends are.

I with every person experienced many things…from bunking to jumping...to laughing to fighting...All made me so closer to everyone.

I wish I could relive all the happy and best moments which made my life so joyful. I don’t want to enter another phase which teaches me politics. Don’t want to get busy living, or say get busy dying.

I want to throw my dreams into space like a kite, and don’t know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, or a new destiny. Just want my associates to be with me forever, giving a damn to my TRPs.

A suite of curves

I don’t really know when I heard it first, but that one chord slurred all my chords inside me. And till today I swing, I dance, I sing, I cry, I go mad hearing it. What addiction, what love, what curiosity is hidden behind it I’m not able to figure it out. I still search for it in the early day, sunny afternoon, dusky evenings, late nights in the sky, around me, wherever I go. But like we say nothing comes before time and destiny.

Hearing it every time I go to that wonderland where there is peace, love, positivity, fairness. Where, I am able to judge myself. Find myself that who I’m I? What am I doing here? In this poor earth where money is god and human a slave.

That path in which I travel is so pure, so serene, so placid that takes me to its world where there is just cadence, rhythm, tempo, pace where I can hear only their relatives.
Their psychosis, their sanity touches my soul, my spirit and purifies my thoughts, my beliefs, and my deprived philosophy which I think is the unsurpassed paramount I inherit. Where I see my own perception, my own acuity, my shade of life, different from me.

Whenever I take notice of it, it transcends me. In whatever mood im whether contented, pleased, repulsive, obnoxious, I’m transformed into a blessed soul hearing it! Life becomes even, manageable.

My hunt for it will never end. I’ll still look it to the fore. I’ll search for it in my dreams and create a pathway for it to reach me. I will multiply the message it forwarded it to me so that everyone like me attains self-determination and adore what they have.

I will edify the Rhythm less, the pulse less, the ones to whom it didn’t reach.
I’d be happy to do something worthwhile and sought way to reduce my peccadilloes.